abby stew is cooler than you

megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

(via justsowally)

I HAVE BEEN AT THE MOTHERFUCKING LOGAN AIRPORT FOR 13 FUCKING HOURS I AM 50 MILES PAST DONE. WE MISSED OUR FUCKING FLIGHT THIS MORNING, WERE PLACED ON STANDBY FOR TWO DIFFERENT FLIGHTS WHICH THEY GAVE TO PEOPLE WHO CAME AFTER US, AND WERE FINALLY PUT ON OUR RESCHEDULED FLIGHT ONLY TO HAVE TO GET OFF THE FUCKING PLANE BECAUSE THE WEATHER SUCKS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

collegehumor:

The Maury Show is Getting a Little Extreme

And people say they’re running out of topics…

(via randomgifgirl)

(via johnlockiarty)

danielhoe:

IF YOU DIDN’T THINK LORD FARQUAAD FROM SHREK WAS THE CREEPIEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN YOU’RE LYING TO YOURSELF

LORD FARQUAAD MORE LIKE LORD WHATTHEFUCKWHYWOULDTHEANIMATORSTHINKTHISISOKAYFORAKIDSMOVIEJESUS

(via johnlockiarty)

taoziii:

If anyone asks me this in real life, i’m going to set the fucker tasks.

“TO BE ABLE TO BECOME ACE YOU MUST FIRST SWIM TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND COLLECT PURPLE KEYS FROM A SHIPWRECK AND OPEN THE CHEST OF WONDER. IN THERE YOU WILL FIND THE BLACK SEEDS OF GLORY. THEN, YOU HAVE TO TRAVEL TO TIBET AND PLANT THE SEEDS ON THE TOP OF THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN. WAIT FOR THE WHITE ROSES TO GROW AND THEN EAT THEM.

BAM!

ASEXUAL.”

(via i-owe-you-a-tardis)

littlehelpernina:

Source

Click here to donate and contribute to helping Toby make his awesome game!

(via drubuscus)

(via sodamnrelatable)

[x]

(via johnlockiarty)

the-laughing-cactus:

jaclcfrost:

if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners

(via johnlockiarty)