“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
(via justsowally)Source: megaman2
I HAVE BEEN AT THE MOTHERFUCKING LOGAN AIRPORT FOR 13 FUCKING HOURS I AM 50 MILES PAST DONE. WE MISSED OUR FUCKING FLIGHT THIS MORNING, WERE PLACED ON STANDBY FOR TWO DIFFERENT FLIGHTS WHICH THEY GAVE TO PEOPLE WHO CAME AFTER US, AND WERE FINALLY PUT ON OUR RESCHEDULED FLIGHT ONLY TO HAVE TO GET OFF THE FUCKING PLANE BECAUSE THE WEATHER SUCKS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
If anyone asks me this in real life, i’m going to set the fucker tasks.
“TO BE ABLE TO BECOME ACE YOU MUST FIRST SWIM TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND COLLECT PURPLE KEYS FROM A SHIPWRECK AND OPEN THE CHEST OF WONDER. IN THERE YOU WILL FIND THE BLACK SEEDS OF GLORY. THEN, YOU HAVE TO TRAVEL TO TIBET AND PLANT THE SEEDS ON THE TOP OF THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN. WAIT FOR THE WHITE ROSES TO GROW AND THEN EAT THEM.
(via i-owe-you-a-tardis)Source: taoziii